(Yes, the whole binder)
So, as you may have guessed the orientation went great! I feel like we could go on for awhile about all the information we received, how well Gladney presented it and how excited we are now to be working with Gladney but for the sake of all of our time, I will summarize everyting :)
- Gladney has been facilitating adoption in Texas for about 125 years (wow!) and in that time has become a national leader in both domestic and international adoption. They are one of the most well respected adoption agencies in the U.S. and a top leader in adoption advocacy.
- Gladney's domestic adoption program focuses on support for both adoptive and birth parents by giving them each caseworkers and counselors to help them through the process.
- Adoption matches are birth mother driven meaning that the birth mom chooses a family from the pool of adoptive families available. This provides her an enormous amount of peace as she considers a home for her baby.
- Gladney provides life long support for birth and adoptive families by giving them access to other families in the same situation and offering counselors at every stage of the process. So theorhetically, if our child at age 13 was struggling with being adopted or someone made fun of them for being adopted, we can still call Gladney and talk with one of their counselors and even meet with them if we wanted.
- Gladney focuses on great matches. They encouraged us to be "us" and to be honest about what we're comfortable with in regards to the health of the child and birth mother and to what degree we want to be open in this adoption. They said this because a successful adoption match happens when all parties are all in and there's no lingering tension because someone wasn't really comfortable with annual visits or special medical needs.
- Lastly they said "If you stick with us you will become parents." That is an enormous statement to a room full of people who have struggled with infertility to varying degrees. The process of trying to have a family is fraught with loss, disappointment, lost hope, fear and anxiety. After the presenter said this you could feel the room loosen up. And then they officially gave us permission to be excited to be parents. I didn't know I needed that permission until they gave it and I have gotten very excited this past week.
If you have an interest in knowing more about Gladney please leave me a message! I can tell you way more information if you want it or you can check them out yourself at www.adoptionsbygladney.com.
Now I want to describe the process of adoption and where we are in it so people can have a general idea of what's happening and what's to come.
1. Application -
This is what I was working on all week! I don't know how long it takes people to finish this on average but my goal was 1 week. I haven't quite made that but I think that we will be able to mail out our application tomorrow (11 days is still a good time but I was really hoping for a record time here). The application includes our medical history, financial status, questions on our views of adoption, etc. as well as recommendation letters and a criminal background check. In addition to the paperwork we are sending our first PAYMENT! Yikes!! We need to send them about $5725.00. By the grace of God we've made that goal!!! Yes!! Between the movement of God in the hearts of some very generous friends, selling some pictures from Colorado and some very excited Grandparents we've made our first financial goal! Thank you to everyone and thank you Jesus :)Once we've turned in all our paperwork for our application we move to step two: Homestudy.
2. Homestudy -
A homestudy is required for all adoptions (domestic and international, private or agency assisted). This involves two main meetings with a social worker. One is an interview we'll do in Dallas. The second is when the social worker visits our home to make sure it is a safe and healthy place. At first this sounded scary but I've been assured they don't go through the house with a white glove they are looking for major issues like hoarding problems, recurring filth, and anything that might be a red, majorly red, flag. Once these interviews and visits are finished then our social worker compiles information from our application and the info she got from us during our interviews and creates a "Homestudy" on us that is sent in for approval by the state.
3. Approval -
Once we are approved by the state we need to turn in another $3,725 (second 25% installment). And then we get to create our profile book! This is a photo book that describes what life with Landon and I looks like. It's the first thing that a birth mom will see about us. After our offical approval and our photo book approval our case worker begins to show our profile to appropriate birth mothers.
4. The Waiting -
I've been told this is the worst part. All the paperwork is done, the last bit of control we have is done and then we wait. On average they say this time is 8-10 months but its possible that it happens sooner. If a birth mom likes us she talks to her caseworker who talks to our caseworker and we have a phone call first. If she still likes us we coordinate a time to meet each other at Gladney. If she still likes us then we call it a "match" and wait for her due date (usually less than 3 months away in a majority of cases). Now, there are many variables to this part of the process - it ranges from taking the baby from the hospial and coming home, waiting a week after the baby's birth to take them home, meeting a birth mom for the first time at the hospital or even adopting an infant who is 2 months old and been in transitional care. We just don't know what this will look like but in general, that's how it works. The final payment is due 30 days before placement or if we have less than 30 days notice before placement then the funds are due when we accept the placement (this is 50% of our fee which is over $7,000).
5. Placement and Finalization -
Once we take the baby home, that is called "Placement". At this point the adoption is irrevocable and the birth mother and or father have signed away their parental rights. Finalization happens 6 months after placement. Finalization is different in every state but the state of Texas has this 6 month period where the agency is considered the managing conservitor of the child while we have all the responsibility of the child as parents. After that 6 months we "sue" Gladney for full rights, which they gladly surrender and our child is legally 100% ours and gets a new birth certificate with our names as parents.
I hope that is a bit clear for you who want to be updated :) Again, you can message me with questions if you want. We believe our application will be fully compiled by the second week of March (we have to wait on the background check papers, doctors statements and recommendation letters to all come back). AFter that we schedule a time to do our homestudy (at least another 2 -3 weeks) and then our homestudy is finished (another 3 weeks). Approval could happen as early as late April or as late as May or June just depending on schedule and timing of paperwork. Then our big wait could run from June to February or March of next year. I hope that's a helpful timeline.
So here's what we need from everyone!
1. Prayer - prayer for paperwork to go through quickly, prayer for our caseworker to be someone we really click with, prayer for our hearts to be prepared, pray that we find a home for our sweet doggy Lily who can't be around children, prayer for a baby that is possibly in the womb as we speak and prayer for the birthmom who is making a very difficult decision. And anything else the Lord leads you to pray about of course :)
2. Stay tuned - if you're not subscribed to this blog please do so now. A majority of our contact will be here. As things pick up I will most likely post things on the blog and link Facebook or emails to this page so stay tuned.
3. Encourage us and get informed - feel free to send us encouraging messages to not give up! And get informed! There's lots of fear and anxiety around adoption because of headline horror stories but don't contribute to that instead, talk to more adoptive families, read some books. We recommend In On It, a very helpful book for friends and family members of those adopting. And there's a dozen more that you can find too :)
4. Give -
We will still need to finance the rest of the adoption including attorney fees to finalize our adoption 6 months after the baby is placed in our home. You can do that by donating via Pay Pal on this blog, you can order pictures from my website or you can just send us a check. We believe that this process of adoption will be a blessing not just to us but everyone who is committing financially, emotionally and prayerfully in this journey. And thank you, with all of our hearts, for being willing to do this with us - your support is making this dream of a family a reality for us.
Again, feel free to ask questions and get informed! We're so excited! I will be posting more regularly as we finish more paperwork and as God teaches us more and more.
Much love,
L&L
Y'all continue to be in my prayers! <3
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