No news for our adoption, just wanted to write down some things I've been thinking about in the last few weeks.
I don't remember when I realized this but there was a moment when I realized that when a baby comes into a home, biologically or by adoption, another birth takes place - parents are born. And like babies, parents grow, change, fail, learn and mature. (This was my main reason for wanting to adopt an infant, I am also an infant parent). This thought has scared and thrilled me all at the same time. So, I have begun to pray that God would prepare Landon and I for parenting with just the right amount of help, tips, books, sermons, friends and whatever else God feels is neccessary.
A similar process happened for me just before we got married. I felt through random timings of certain books, Bible studies, mentors, coffee dates, conversations and prayers - I accumulated a foundation and framework for biblical marriage. I felt I knew what to fight for, what to work towards, what to reject and what to embrace. These things helped us navigate engagement and the first few years of marriage. Having a framework felt more helpful than rules because we all know - a rule is one thing until you have to actually live it out! I really believe God gave me the correct tools that I could enter into marriage knowing I have the right tools and now it will just take time and grace to figure out how to use them.
So, I am praying for the same thing in parenting. What foundation and framework do I work towards. What thoughts, attitudes and cultural expectations should I reject and what ones are worth while? I don't feel as though I've accumulated enough but I will share the things that I think are coming together:
1. Fight the good fight to love and enjoy your children daily. The scripture clearly calls them a blessing (not that they are not difficult at times). The attitude that children are endured, life-ending, life-sucking and a pain is not from God and should be opposed.
2. Approach them as individuals. They are not spitting images of me or Landon - they are their own person. They are not exactly like anyone - they are a mixed jumble of many things that will make them - them. So in discipline, love, education, entertainment and others - each child will have different needs so approach them this way.
3. Never stop learning about them. This kind of goes with the previous one but I wanted to separate it. It's important I not assume I know my kids through and through - I want to remember to ask them questions about themselves, what their interests have been lately, what God is doing right now. I find this will be important as we approach pre teen and teen years.
4. Apologize freely. Parents must be the model of conflict resolution in humility, apology and forgiveness. (Somebody has to be the adult in the house, right?)
5. Laugh abundantly. Joke, laugh, roar and be a little nuts!! I can't wait for this!
6. Make the scripcture, prayer and a relationship with Jesus approachable and talkable.
This is what I have so far. I'm excited to learn the rest and see what God gives us to prep us.
~L&L
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Update - But basically more of the same :)
I feel scared sometimes to use the word "Update" because although it's technically an update, there isn't really anything new happening but I have wonderful family and friends who love to pray for us so, here's what's up.
All our paperwork is in (like I said on the last post) but lots of things have to be done to that paperwork. All of our income/ tax information has to be double checked by the State Comptroller. Our residence, employment, and other history has to be verified. From our paperwork they have to create a electronic file and enter us into their database. So, as you can see they are very busy up there at Gladney with us. I am just glad the ball is out of our hands right now.
Currently we are waiting to hear from our assigned Caseworker. We do not know who he or she is yet but we're excited to hear from them. They will call us and schedule a time for us to first come and do an interview at their offices in Fort Worth and then secondly schedule a time for the caseworker to come to our house and check it out. After all that is done they have to compile an official "Homestudy" and submit it to the state for approval. That usually takes a few weeks to go from compiling to approval. (Also, after official approval we pay another 25% - $3,725) But the exciting thing is after approval - the next step is to create our profile for birth moms to look at and start getting in the adoptive parent pool!
So, we are waiting. That is the name of the adoption game, waiting. My good friend Casi teaches her youth group girls that if you can get really good at patiently waiting on God in your life then you will save yourself from many spiritual ills and gain lots of spiritual maturity - oh how she is right.
Here's how you can pray for us:
1. That the God of Hope would fill us with joy and peace as we trust in Him (Romans 15:13). Pray for our joyful, grateful and patient waiting as God pulls together this crazy ride we're on.
2. Pray that our caseworker would be a great match who will have lots of wisdom on this process that hopefully he or she can pass on to us!
3. Pray that God would continue to prepare our hearts for parenthood and for the unique way that God is creating our family.
4. Pray that this story would continue to encourage the faith of others and this would glorify God and show people Jesus.
5. Pray, as always that Christ would be supreme and paramount and that Landon and I would keep our eyes on Jesus and continue to selflessly love and serve one another.
Thank you everyone for your prayers! We are grateful that you are sharing this journey with us and we hope that you find yourself encouraged.
And ok, this story is going to make this post long but maybe you who are reading this have time today to think about something that God encouraged me with this week :)
First, gardening has so many parallels to the spiritual world - you should at least try having one plant - anyway...
We had this knock out rose bush in our front yard. It did great last season but it grew a little weird. I had about 5 or 6 really long branches growing up and it seemed thin and wirey. And so I trimmed the heck out of it during winter. My hope was that it would come back stronger than ever...well, it looked terrible for a long time.
It got to a point where Landon and I thought I killed that poor thing. It didn't bud or bloom, it didn't grow, and it started to turn yellow. I was so bummed. Spring came and we added soil, added fertilizer and did not prune anything and look what happened!!
It came back bigger than ever. I have counted upwards of 40 buds on this bush. I was reminded of Jesus: "And every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it may bear more fruit." John 15:2. Pruning can be a very terrible, painful and scary reduction of ourselves. It can seem at times we will never make it back to a fruitful and joyful place in our lives again. However, unlike me, God is master gardener, perfectly pruning our hearts into fruitfulness, always knowing how much is too much.
Today may you trust that Master Gardener of your heart and trust what He cuts off knowing He does it with passionate, firey love for you.
~L&L
All our paperwork is in (like I said on the last post) but lots of things have to be done to that paperwork. All of our income/ tax information has to be double checked by the State Comptroller. Our residence, employment, and other history has to be verified. From our paperwork they have to create a electronic file and enter us into their database. So, as you can see they are very busy up there at Gladney with us. I am just glad the ball is out of our hands right now.
Currently we are waiting to hear from our assigned Caseworker. We do not know who he or she is yet but we're excited to hear from them. They will call us and schedule a time for us to first come and do an interview at their offices in Fort Worth and then secondly schedule a time for the caseworker to come to our house and check it out. After all that is done they have to compile an official "Homestudy" and submit it to the state for approval. That usually takes a few weeks to go from compiling to approval. (Also, after official approval we pay another 25% - $3,725) But the exciting thing is after approval - the next step is to create our profile for birth moms to look at and start getting in the adoptive parent pool!
So, we are waiting. That is the name of the adoption game, waiting. My good friend Casi teaches her youth group girls that if you can get really good at patiently waiting on God in your life then you will save yourself from many spiritual ills and gain lots of spiritual maturity - oh how she is right.
Here's how you can pray for us:
1. That the God of Hope would fill us with joy and peace as we trust in Him (Romans 15:13). Pray for our joyful, grateful and patient waiting as God pulls together this crazy ride we're on.
2. Pray that our caseworker would be a great match who will have lots of wisdom on this process that hopefully he or she can pass on to us!
3. Pray that God would continue to prepare our hearts for parenthood and for the unique way that God is creating our family.
4. Pray that this story would continue to encourage the faith of others and this would glorify God and show people Jesus.
5. Pray, as always that Christ would be supreme and paramount and that Landon and I would keep our eyes on Jesus and continue to selflessly love and serve one another.
Thank you everyone for your prayers! We are grateful that you are sharing this journey with us and we hope that you find yourself encouraged.
And ok, this story is going to make this post long but maybe you who are reading this have time today to think about something that God encouraged me with this week :)
First, gardening has so many parallels to the spiritual world - you should at least try having one plant - anyway...
We had this knock out rose bush in our front yard. It did great last season but it grew a little weird. I had about 5 or 6 really long branches growing up and it seemed thin and wirey. And so I trimmed the heck out of it during winter. My hope was that it would come back stronger than ever...well, it looked terrible for a long time.
It got to a point where Landon and I thought I killed that poor thing. It didn't bud or bloom, it didn't grow, and it started to turn yellow. I was so bummed. Spring came and we added soil, added fertilizer and did not prune anything and look what happened!!
It came back bigger than ever. I have counted upwards of 40 buds on this bush. I was reminded of Jesus: "And every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it may bear more fruit." John 15:2. Pruning can be a very terrible, painful and scary reduction of ourselves. It can seem at times we will never make it back to a fruitful and joyful place in our lives again. However, unlike me, God is master gardener, perfectly pruning our hearts into fruitfulness, always knowing how much is too much.
Today may you trust that Master Gardener of your heart and trust what He cuts off knowing He does it with passionate, firey love for you.
~L&L
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