Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My application answers...

Just a few weeks ago Landon and I made the decision to work with Loving Alternative Adoption Agency based out of Tyler, TX. (You can see their website here: http://livalt.org/loving.html)

I really like that they are approaching the complex issue of crisis pregnancy from a lot of different angles and adoption is only one of their ministries. They have been highly recommended to us and also, their process is so bathed in prayer and recognizing God's control that I feel like our souls will be encouraged the whole way.

We are in the process of filling out the application to be accepted as one of their couples. This application is not a legal document to give us the "ok" to adopt, its just to be accepted into their pool of families because they want families who are strong believers. So, this application is an effort to see where people are in their walk with Christ. The last page has some really great questions to think about and so I am posting my answers. The husband and wife answer separately, so this is just my response.

If you are pregnant, have infants or want to have kiddos soon I think these are awesome questions to ask yourself. In the process of answering these questions I was really encouraged to raise godly children and to stay in God's word daily. Enjoy! And have a good time thinking!!

1. Please write in your own words what a genuine Christian is to you.
I believe a genuine Christian is someone who has come to a personal and profound conclusion of: their sin towards God and their need for Him; has responded to the offer of God’s grace in Jesus by believing that He is the Son of God, the atoning payment for their sin, the reconciler of their relationship back to God and their eternal and earthly hope as the living, resurrected Savior. A genuine Christian not only has these personal beliefs but also demonstrates the fruits of the Spirit and works of grace that are not efforts to earn salvation or God’s affection but the genuine outpouring of a transformed heart and mind and evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of them.

2. Describe your conversion experience and explain how Christ has changed your life.
I grew up with Christian parents, attending church regularly but my faith was essentially on the coat tails of my parents. Around the age of 13 or 14 I started attending a youth group where they taught the Bible verse by verse and very clearly. This is where I heard a clear articulation of the gospel. For about 2 years I wrestled with my doubts and questions (things like evolution, I can’t see God, how do I know He’s real, etc.). Around the age of 15 I felt very burdened and troubled by all my doubts but I felt I had no ability to just believe and not give way to those thoughts. I remember very clearly giving up one night and praying “Jesus, I think you are real, but I’m not sure, I’m tired of doubting, but if you’re there and you want me, then I need help.” I can’t explain how I “heard” this but it was so strong in my spirit I heard “Hang in there.” I can remember waking up the next day and all of the clamoring doubting voices in my head fell silent. I believe even my faith to respond to Jesus was a gift from God in providing salvation for me. After this moment God continued to grow in me a love for His Word, for His people, and for ministry. The biggest way I feel Christ has changed my life I was (and am currently) relieved from my tendency to rely on my own righteousness. I do not have a drug or strong rebellious history – my history was to do it right, make people proud and be nice. In that life I was easily deceived into believing that I could earn salvation and impress God with how good I was. In coming to Christ on His terms, that He had to pay for my sin and rebellion (because self-righteousness is still rebellion) I was freed from trusting in myself and come to God on the basis of grace. He still reminds me of that today

3. How does your Christianity affect your daily life?
Trying to not sound too general, it defines my daily life. My faith is the filter and paradigm through which I interpret my reality including my circumstances, relationships and emotions. Taking my direction from the Bible, I am instructed and encouraged on how to have a successful marriage and how to treat my husband, how to be a good friend, how to love my parents, how to treat neighbors and strangers. My Christianity interprets my circumstances (good and bad) as things that have flowed from the hands of a sovereign and good God- meant to transform my heart and bring me closer to Him. Daily, I sense the presence of God with me (even if I am rushing through a chaotic day) and my need to dwell in His word to sustain my soul.

4. What does being a Christian wife and mother mean to you?
I believe being a Christian wife and mother means first relying on and submitting to God’s word as a definition, goal and encouragement for being a wife and mom. Secondly, I believe being a Christian wife and mother means we have infinite purpose in revealing the nature of God uniquely in those callings. Eve was named “life” because she was the first mother but I see something of our calling in that name. I believe as a wife I am called to encourage, support, help, love and respect my husband and in doing that I display the very nature of God to my husband and to the world therefore bringing them real life. As a Christian mother, I display the tender, patient, protective, instructive nature of God to my children and to the world bringing them life as they see God’s character evident in me. Being a Christian wife and mother brings eternal meaning and purpose to these rolls, because God becomes present in each moment and eternity meets every-day interaction. Lastly, more personally, I believe being a Christian wife and mother means I rely heavily on the promises of God and labor in prayer for my husband and children. Regular prayer will release my death grip on the control I think I need but don’t really have, it will take down walls in relationships, it will reorient my heart to submit to God and His plans, it will restore my soul when I am weary and give me a chance to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit instructing me.

5. In your understanding, what is a Christian family?
As I considered this question, I came to five major values that characterize a Christian family for me. The first is the scripture. I believe a Christian family enjoys God’s word together, obeys God’s word, and fosters an environment where the family talks regularly about the scripture (Deut. 6:6-9). The second value I saw was family worship. II Timothy 1:5 mentions the sincere faith that lived in Timothy’s mother and grandmother that deeply affected Timothy’s devotion to Christ. I believe a parent’s personal devotion and corporate worship within the family and the wider family of God are important to model Christianity to our children and encourage them to pursue Jesus in a subjective and personal way. The third is discipline as seen in multiple verses throughout the Proverbs; discipline and boundaries should be regularly and lovingly enforced for the good of the children. The forth is mission. Christian families have significant eternal purpose both within the family to encourage one another to walk with Christ but also outside the family to serve God in their community together, witnessing to the love and grace of God. Lastly, most importantly, is grace. In a Christian family grace flows freely and creates a safe and honest atmosphere where apologies, forgiveness, disagreements, confusions and struggles can all be shared freely, without condemnation, being met with understanding, patience and faith. Without grace, scripture becomes a weapon to destroy, worship is double-minded, discipline becomes punishment and mission becomes a chore. Grace is the fragrance that should linger throughout the Christian home, giving life and enjoyment to the family.

Monday, August 8, 2011

When God talks about you behind your back...

It is easy in difficult seasons to believe that God has somehow forgotten you. We echo the words of the Psalmist and say "Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His compassion?" - Psalm 77:9. There is a profound "aloneness" that can come over us that makes us feel that even God has hid His face from us and that He cannot be found.

The very tangible silence of God can be maddening. In sadness, you want comfort and get nothing. In chaos you want His guidance and still, nothing. In confusion, frustration and doubt you want His reassurance and you are met with what feels like a very cold and mute wall. Maybe this is the valley of the shadow. It is without a doubt the crucible in which our faith is put under fire and enormous pressure and while in the midst of it the fire hurts beyond description - it is producing gold which is precious to God.

My greatest fear as we have begun on this journey is not hearing God respond and not seeing Him work in this process...more silence! But recently, it seems as though He has been talking about us to other people...

Recently friends of ours called us and said "By the way we'd like to pay for your homestudy." In shock we demanded to have dinner to talk this through and clarify that this was a huge committment, a lot of money and a big (BIG) decision. At dinner our friends told us that for a few months they have been saving a certain amount of money. After saving it they began asking God where He wanted it to go. Several opportunities presented themselves but nothing "clicked" for them. After hearing about our desire to adopt, they casually talked about it but no angels sang and no trumpets blew in their heads...at first. After just a few days we haunted their thoughts, and the idea of paying for our homestudy was "clicking". They prayed one more time and asked God "Where should this money go?" And with full confidence and smiles on their faces they said "We heard God say: 'Landon and Lindsay'." Wow.

I was (and currently am) overwhelmed with emotion. Not just by the generous giving of our friends but because God said our names to someone else. Evidently He's been talking about us to some people. And, eveidently, He is here, He is aware of our situation, He is present, providing and leading us! There is something so strange to have God acknowledge you by name. You come face to face with the reality that He knows you through and through.

So, God has shown up and our first stage of this process has some financing! Wowzers! I cannot wait to see who else God talks with about us (is that self centered?) And I cannot wait to see what other supernatural things happen in this process.

So, I can say with graditude, The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy and also, I know there is no place to be hidden from His presence.

~L&L