Just some thoughts

No news for our adoption, just wanted to write down some things I've been thinking about in the last few weeks.

I don't remember when I realized this but there was a moment when I realized that when a baby comes into a home, biologically or by adoption, another birth takes place - parents are born. And like babies, parents grow, change, fail, learn and mature. (This was my main reason for wanting to adopt an infant, I am also an infant parent). This thought has scared and thrilled me all at the same time. So, I have begun to pray that God would prepare Landon and I for parenting with just the right amount of help, tips, books, sermons, friends and whatever else God feels is neccessary.

A similar process happened for me just before we got married. I felt through random timings of certain books, Bible studies, mentors, coffee dates, conversations and prayers - I accumulated a foundation and framework for biblical marriage. I felt I knew what to fight for, what to work towards, what to reject and what to embrace. These things helped us navigate engagement and the first few years of marriage. Having a framework felt more helpful than rules because we all know - a rule is one thing until you have to actually live it out! I really believe God gave me the correct tools that I could enter into marriage knowing I have the right tools and now it will just take time and grace to figure out how to use them.

So, I am praying for the same thing in parenting. What foundation and framework do I work towards. What thoughts, attitudes and cultural expectations should I reject and what ones are worth while? I don't feel as though I've accumulated enough but I will share the things that I think are coming together:

1. Fight the good fight to love and enjoy your children daily. The scripture clearly calls them a blessing (not that they are not difficult at times). The attitude that children are endured, life-ending, life-sucking and a pain is not from God and should be opposed.

2. Approach them as individuals. They are not spitting images of me or Landon - they are their own person. They are not exactly like anyone - they are a mixed jumble of many things that will make them - them. So in discipline, love, education, entertainment and others - each child will have different needs so approach them this way.

3. Never stop learning about them. This kind of goes with the previous one but I wanted to separate it. It's important I not assume I know my kids through and through - I want to remember to ask them questions about themselves, what their interests have been lately, what God is doing right now. I find this will be important as we approach pre teen and teen years.

4. Apologize freely. Parents must be the model of conflict resolution in humility, apology and forgiveness. (Somebody has to be the adult in the house, right?)

5. Laugh abundantly. Joke, laugh, roar and be a little nuts!! I can't wait for this!

6. Make the scripcture, prayer and a relationship with Jesus approachable and talkable.

This is what I have so far. I'm excited to learn the rest and see what God gives us to prep us.

~L&L